Where does my strength come from?

I've been doing a lot of reading the last few days and am starting to come to some conclusions of where I have been going wrong in life. Last night when I was walking in the dark once again, I found myself pleading to God. My brain has been working overtime trying to think things through. I have been depressed about how things were going. I have been feeling like I'm at the end of my rope.

Earlier in the day, I had sent messages to the people who are have been supporting me through my trials lately. I received words of encouragement from all but one, R. I have to say that this bothered me quite a bit because our friendship has been built on our relationships with God.

As the day went on I became more down. I was feeling very lonely and isolated. When I began my walk I was crying a lot. As I talked with God he slowly made me understand a few things about where my life is going right now.

He pointed out that a lot of my energy over the last few weeks has gone into helping R. I did not feel that God was saying that this was time wasted, but that it was energy that now needed to be redirected into my parents. Energy that God was giving me to help them through day by day.

God also reminded me of how He has it all under control. He showed me how I was growing and reminded me of times he had helped me in the past. He reminded me that even though I am not working He is taking care of my needs. He reminded me that my family is strong and that I need to be there for him.

But most of all he reminded me not to go to others first when I have a problem, go to Him. I feel like we all have a issue with this in life. We talk to everyone else asking what we should do before we even think of talking to God.

So I'm taking more time to talk with God about my trials. I am currently reading "Traveling Light" by Max Lucado, and the chapters I read last night dealt with the burdens of fear and loneliness. Both are things that I am dealing with right now. I am reminded of the 23rd Psalm. Verse 4 says, "I will fear no evil. You are with me" (NKJV).

I need to get my strength and comfort from God. He is the only one who can be consistent with being a support for me. In life, even our best supports let us down at times, but God is always there for us.

Jesus turned first to him in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Luke 22:39-46
Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. "Why are you sleeping?" he asked them. "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."

Even his disciples let him down, but God didn't. An angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him.

Last night, prayed for God to take the burdens from me, but also that his will be done. Not long afterward, I felt my mood changing. My phone started playing more upbeat praise music. God strengthened me. Changed my outlook. Gave me another glimpse of the path.

Even through God has begun changing my attitude and outlook, I occasionally still feel down. But I believe He will strengthen me more over the days to come.

Lord,

I praise You for carrying me through this valley of sorrow. I know I am just beginning to leave it and that I still need to rely on You to get me through. I praise You for carrying me each step. I pray that You are with my Parents. We are going through some really rough times, but we know You are in control. Help us to keep that faith in You, Lord. Help me to be a strength to them through this.

I will praise You in this storm,

Brie!