Just Another Manic Monday?

Once again Monday has brought my life to a strange place. Actually it started last night talking with Mom and finding out that Dad's nausea and vomiting has returned. It happened through Saturday and Sunday nights.

The Oncologist still does not know what to do except telling him to take the medication and keeping him on this current round of chemo. I know that everytime Dad gets sick it makes Mom sick too. We worry about what is really going on behind it all, but no one really seems to know.

Just a little while ago, I had a conversation with R that though it started ok, it turned into a explanation from him that our friendship is creating tension in his relationship. He told me that he was taking me off his IM list. Left things open for me to contact him, but he was not going to initiate any conversation. I have tried my best to not overstep my bounds. He said that he felt I did, but that he realized that it was not intentional on my part. I honestly feel that him cutting off communication was more for him then for anything. I guess God has decided to have us close this door at this time. R told me that he is putting more of himself into the relationship. He also told me that they are having a ceremony in the spring. Sounds kind of fast to me, but I guess they want to tie it all up soon. I wish them the best and I really hope that they are letting God lead in their lives.

I'm glad that this has brought some closure to me. I feel like I will still have a hard time, but I will get through with God. God is telling me that it is not meant to be at this time and I am following His lead. I am claiming that he has something better for me out there.

I'm waiting for a response about the job from GWU. I've come to terms with the possibility that God may not want me to be there. I've also come to the realization that if not I'm going forward with plans to move back to my parents house. It will be a big adjustment, but I feel it may be where God needs me to be.

I ask that anyone who reads my blog to pray hard for the Lords leading in my life. I don't want to take any step without his guidance.

I think I've used this one before, but it applies to what I feel God is asking me to do at this time:

Psalm 40:1

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

Lord,

I am waiting... It seems like everything is coming more and more to a head every day. I still can not handle it by myself so I am asking that You take all of these burdens and help me to heal and get through each day. Be with my prayer requests and especially R, Mom and Dad.

I love You!

Brie!