Trusting is so hard.

Trust is such a hard thing to learn. Giving things over to God seems like it should be an easy task. I remember back to church as a child singing about casting all our cares on God. We learn that God will take care of us in church, at home.

And yet as we grow up we are taught to be responsible and to fend for ourselves. We are taught how to survive and how to succeed.

Life teaches us to be self-sufficient.

Today, I found out that I did not get the job that I really wanted to get. It's funny how I know that it is God's will and that He has something else(probably better) for me to do. I still have a hard time just giving it up and trusting.

Why is it that some things are so easy to do and others so hard? Why is it that control is one of the hardest things for us to give up?

I was thinking today of how hard it must be for someone with a mental disability to take medication. The Human brain works differently then common sense. Many times we realize what we are suppose to do and yet our brains tell us otherwise. Giving in and taking a medication to be normal, kind of feels like the same type of idea as giving up control and allowing God to take over. The problem is that giving up control is not common sense, but a learned behavior. It goes against what we have been taught. It goes against the World. But it is a behavior I have to learn.

How can I make it easier for myself to give my control up? Is there some step I can take to make it easier?

A very wise friend of mine pointed out that maybe this is God's way of getting me to work on trusting, so I can live the life that He wants me to have.

Wow.... I mean WOW!


Luke 18:17 (Message)

Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in.

As a child, I did not have an issue giving control over to God. It was a non-issue. I was used to relying on my parents to take care of me. I have to accept God's kingdom with the simplicity of a child.

So I have to unlearn what I have learned. I have to develop a new habit. A habit that may look strange from the worlds point of view. I have to form a new learned behavior.

It's not easy. I guess there is no easy way out. I have to rely on God to help me stay true to my decision.

Lord,

Take my job search and make it what you want it to be. Send the job my way that you know I should have and show me the steps to take to get there. Thank you for sending wise people into my life to help me through the hard times. Be with my friends and family. I love you,

Brie!