Am I Trusting God?

The last month has been a growing experience for me. The upheaval of my life was very discouraging and troubling for me. I have to say that there were many times that I questioned God. Many times that I misunderstood what was going on with me.

My mother pointed out that in one of my previous posts that I stated that God took away my job. She wanted to ensure that I was not blaming God. I had never thought of it that way. It's amazing how people can see different things in the way we say things. I feel like I should have said that God allowed me to loose my job. God allowed a big wake up call to hit my life.

Today I was thinking about the whole situation. How have I grown through this experience? Have I learned to trust in God more? Have I leaned on him for support? Have I done it all on my own again?

Well in short it was God. I can take no credit for the changes in my life. I can only say that I went up the mountain and came back different. I did not change anything about myself, God did. He changed my focus. He changed my life.

Almost everything has worked out. I got my car back(Again). I've had some wonderful job interviews that have opened up new doors that could help me to grow in new ways. I've been able to take a step back and work on my friendship with C. I've gone back to church. I've been taking time to talk more with God. I've spent a lot of time with M that I would not have been able to before. I got to be in the hospital with my Mom when she had a procedure. I've even gotten to share my faith with three people that God brought into my life.

God has done wonders! Yet, I still find myself trying to take control. Can I solely trust in God? Can I trust in God to give me a job? Can I trust God to help me when M leaves? Can I trust God to guide my friendships and relationships? AM I TRUSTING GOD?

I realize that I have a lot to learn. God has done everything for me and yet I still want to be in control.

When I was driving to Baltimore, I heard about how many 25ish year olds were unable to make it in society today because they were protected from it by their parents giving them everything. They had really never had to fend for themselves. But since they did not have the experience of struggle they never really learned how to grow from it. Instead the just gave up and were moving back home.

How can we grow if never take chances? We can't. How can we grow if we don't learn to trust? We can't. How can we grow if we don't try? We can't. If we stay in the comfort of the nest we will never learn to fly. The bird that never leaves the nest, dies.

I seem to be able to take chances. I spend a lot of time trying, but I have a hard time trusting. I have to give it all up. I have to trust.


Matthew 6:25-34 NIV

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God is going to take care of me. He's going to take care of my needs. He'll secure me that job. He'll help me with my friendships and relationships. He'll comfort me through my loneliness.

Lord,

Please help me to trust you more. It's hard to give it all up. To stop trying to do it on my own, but I realize that I can't do it. I need you to work things out the way you see is best. Be with my family and friends. I love you.

Brie!