When we worship, what is it that makes the experience?
When I was attending church yesterday, I had a significantly different worship experience than I have had at church before. All week long I had been looking forward to going to church for worship. It had driven my week. The want/need for my normality was brewing in my soul.
I wanted the praise. I wanted the fellowship. I wanted the deeply emotional prayers. I wanted the deeply moving sermon.
I received praise, but it was different from what I was wanting. The praise team was not what I was expecting.
I received fellowship, but it was different from what I was wanting. I was there with Justin, who is a good friend, but the friends I usually go to church with that were there happened to come for first service and were leaving.
I wanted the deeply emotional prayers, but they were different from what I was wanting. The feeling was not coming through to me. The emotion was not there.
I wanted the deeply moving sermon, but it was very different from my expectations. It was a good sermon.
It was interesting, because I still left church blessed. It reminds me of my childhood where I grew up in a church with a totally different worship style. I remember being bored in church many weeks. Occasionally I would come across a sermon that would speak to me, but many times I didn't.
Now I attend a church that I usually get a blessing every week, but this week was very different.
The videos for church this week went right along with my experience. There was one that really touched on one thing that is sticking with me.
Worship is not any of the things that I listed above.
I've never really though too much into how worship is such a personal thing. We all worship differently. I'm lucky in many ways to have found a church that has a very similar worship style to me.
It's amazing to me how different each of us has been made. None of us are totally a like. We all have parts of us that do not fit into any worship service.
I remember one time when my parents came to visit my church. It was a big weekend for us, I believe that it was the "Grand Opening" service of our new location. It was a very grand service. My Dad stated that it is not his type of service, but he though that if he was my age he'd probably find it more relevant to him.
I believe that such diversity is in God's plan. It is mean to bring us back to the personal. We as humans are always trying to find people that have similar belief structures, and yet there will always be differences to bring us back to relying on making our walk personal.
Lord,
Thank you for once again opening my eyes to worship. I pray that you continue to lead in my life. Please be with my family and friends in a special way this week. A lot of us are going though change in many aspects of our lives. I pray that you lead us to what you would want for our lives. I love you and praise you for bringing such strong and supportive people into my life.
I love you,
Brie!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
And the road goes on...
It's been a couple weeks since I have posted and one of my friends told me that I needed to get back on here. :-)
Today is a beautiful day. I really feel God working in my life. I have to say that even though I have had my ups and downs as far as life has gone, God has always been consistent.
My life at the current moment is full of many changes. In the past month I have had three friendships change.
D moved back to Michigan. She had been having a hard time making it here in Maryland, and though our group of friends was able to help her through some hard times, it was best for her to go to where she is comfortable and thriving. I really took her leaving hard. I was surprised at how hard it was for me. Even though we did not see each other on the regular, it was comforting to know that I would see her smile at church. I got to chat with her for a bit online this week and I was so happy to hear that things were really turning out for the best for her. I really do miss her a lot.
The second change was that C and I took a break from each other. Other than a occasional IM we have not really communicated for the last month. I feel this is best for the both of us at this point. I was unable to just be friends. I have the ability to turn off feelings most of the time, but I don't know why this time I couldn't. I always felt he was sending me mixed messages and it just got to the point where it was not going to work. Through it all I've realized that our relationship was probably holding him back in some ways from finding himself. Though he made great strides when we were together, I know that my part in helping him is for the most part is over. I miss seeing him. I miss our casual banter. I'm glad to have known him and hopefully someday we can hang out again as friends.
The final change has been the hardest. M finally moved to Hawaii. This just happened on Sunday. I really don't think that the impact from this has really even hit me yet. I find myself hesitating to move my stuff into his room. I'm not wanting to change things around the house. Hunter kept running to the door last night when he heard the outside door open. I know he misses him as well. It is weird to be in the condo alone at night. I cooked last night and put some aside for him without even thinking about it. It's strange how even though S and my other friends are here, I feel so lonely.
He's begun a Hawaii blog:
http://zenimages.blogspot.com/
I know that S and I are both going through this in different ways. It's interesting how we deal with things so differently. She is comforted more by talking with him on the phone. I feel good when I read from his blog or get a text. I keep reminding myself that this whole set of changes are going to be good. I can feel things ramping up toward great things.
I'm glad that God has given us the ability to reflect. I've been thinking a lot about the past. It's amazing how I remember the good times the most. M and I have had some adventures, snow in Sedona, crazy times in Montreal, late night watching snow fall in Philly, cruise seating with a librarian from NY and a guy from the midwest who could not cut steak. Life has been good, and these good times will be etched into my memory forever.
It's amazing how God knows our needs before we ever do. Some people God brings into our life for a day, others for a few months, others for a few years, and others for lifetime. God has definitely given me a friend for a lifetime with M.
As my road goes on and things continue to change, I know that He has a plan. God has showed His love through the kindness of my friends. He has helped me to see a glimpse of the love that He has for me. But the full knowledge of that Love I will not understand until I reach heaven, because God does not built friendships that only last days, months, or years. He builds a friendship that lasts for eternity.
Psalm 136:1 NIV
Life is hard right now, Lord. It's full of changes and struggles. I'm unsure of where you are leading, but I need your strength to keep taking each step. You've brought such wonderful examples of your Love into my life. I praise you for that. Keep leading me in your path. Be with my family and friends. Especially M as he adjusts to his new life. Be with those of us that he left behind, help us to adjust and grow in you. I'm in awe that through each stumble and fall that I make that you continually pick me up, clean me up, and place me one step closer to where you want me to be. Continue to guide us all in your light.
Brie!
Today is a beautiful day. I really feel God working in my life. I have to say that even though I have had my ups and downs as far as life has gone, God has always been consistent.
My life at the current moment is full of many changes. In the past month I have had three friendships change.
D moved back to Michigan. She had been having a hard time making it here in Maryland, and though our group of friends was able to help her through some hard times, it was best for her to go to where she is comfortable and thriving. I really took her leaving hard. I was surprised at how hard it was for me. Even though we did not see each other on the regular, it was comforting to know that I would see her smile at church. I got to chat with her for a bit online this week and I was so happy to hear that things were really turning out for the best for her. I really do miss her a lot.
The second change was that C and I took a break from each other. Other than a occasional IM we have not really communicated for the last month. I feel this is best for the both of us at this point. I was unable to just be friends. I have the ability to turn off feelings most of the time, but I don't know why this time I couldn't. I always felt he was sending me mixed messages and it just got to the point where it was not going to work. Through it all I've realized that our relationship was probably holding him back in some ways from finding himself. Though he made great strides when we were together, I know that my part in helping him is for the most part is over. I miss seeing him. I miss our casual banter. I'm glad to have known him and hopefully someday we can hang out again as friends.
The final change has been the hardest. M finally moved to Hawaii. This just happened on Sunday. I really don't think that the impact from this has really even hit me yet. I find myself hesitating to move my stuff into his room. I'm not wanting to change things around the house. Hunter kept running to the door last night when he heard the outside door open. I know he misses him as well. It is weird to be in the condo alone at night. I cooked last night and put some aside for him without even thinking about it. It's strange how even though S and my other friends are here, I feel so lonely.
He's begun a Hawaii blog:
http://zenimages.blogspot.com/
I know that S and I are both going through this in different ways. It's interesting how we deal with things so differently. She is comforted more by talking with him on the phone. I feel good when I read from his blog or get a text. I keep reminding myself that this whole set of changes are going to be good. I can feel things ramping up toward great things.
I'm glad that God has given us the ability to reflect. I've been thinking a lot about the past. It's amazing how I remember the good times the most. M and I have had some adventures, snow in Sedona, crazy times in Montreal, late night watching snow fall in Philly, cruise seating with a librarian from NY and a guy from the midwest who could not cut steak. Life has been good, and these good times will be etched into my memory forever.
It's amazing how God knows our needs before we ever do. Some people God brings into our life for a day, others for a few months, others for a few years, and others for lifetime. God has definitely given me a friend for a lifetime with M.
As my road goes on and things continue to change, I know that He has a plan. God has showed His love through the kindness of my friends. He has helped me to see a glimpse of the love that He has for me. But the full knowledge of that Love I will not understand until I reach heaven, because God does not built friendships that only last days, months, or years. He builds a friendship that lasts for eternity.
Psalm 136:1 NIV
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
Life is hard right now, Lord. It's full of changes and struggles. I'm unsure of where you are leading, but I need your strength to keep taking each step. You've brought such wonderful examples of your Love into my life. I praise you for that. Keep leading me in your path. Be with my family and friends. Especially M as he adjusts to his new life. Be with those of us that he left behind, help us to adjust and grow in you. I'm in awe that through each stumble and fall that I make that you continually pick me up, clean me up, and place me one step closer to where you want me to be. Continue to guide us all in your light.
Brie!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)