Hey all,
I'm still working on my ten minutes each day with God. Man when you give him that time he can really be brutal.
I remember one sabbath I was over at my Parent's church at the potluck dinner. One of the church members was going on and on about how God was pointing out her sins. She was feeling overwhelmed because every time she thought she was doing good she said it was like a slap across the face. God was telling her to wake up, open her eyes and see she is not done yet. She felt like she was beginning to get discourage because of all the sins that were coming up.
Why is it when we are working on our sins and become conscious of them that they become overwhelming? How is it that we were fine before we realized that this action may be keeping me back from Christ? How come the guilt is so much more when you consciously know you are sinning? Does God forgive the same? Is the sin worse now because we are more cognizant of it?
For the last week, I've been discouraging myself because every day I have to confess the same sin. When I'm in my prayer time I am fully sorry and intend not to do it again, but I am weak. I end up doing the same thing again.
How can we be so weak to things we know are wrong? Why is it that we can't just stop?
I'm realizing that my sin, my cherished sin, is bigger than me. I'm going to have to pull out all the stops to get past this one. The funny thing is that I've always viewed it as nothing and yet now I can't give it up.
So I'm claiming a promise!
Philippians 4:13 NKJV
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Lord,
Please give me the strength to give up my cherished sin. I know that You are the only one that can give me victory over this trial. I know that through you all things are possible.
Brie!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Family Time!
Today was just an awesome day! As a result of the class I am taking on Tuesday nights, I called my family and asked everyone to go over to my parents house for dinner. What a nice time it was!
My family has been pretty preoccupied with my Dad's hospital visit and of course the cancer treatment, etc. It was so nice to just have a dinner where we can just get together and talk about nothing. Our conversation ranged from cable tv to my nephews school to corvettes to football games. I really have not gotten to just be with my family for a good while. God, thank you so much for putting the idea in my head.
This is why God gives us families! People that we can just spend time with, that are supportive of us, that are there for us!
Leaving my Parents house tonight was a little bit of a downer. But on the way home I reconnected with a good friend of mine that now lives in Georgia. She and I had this fabulous weekend in Hilton Head over last MLK Birthday weekend. The weather was perfect, the beach was beautiful, and above all the price was right! We got reminiscing about that weekend and decided to make plans for the repeat! So MLK weekend once again we will be chilling out in Hilton Head!
After all of that I got to settle down a little and have my ten minutes of silence. Tonight, I lit some candles, turned on some music, took some long breaths and relaxed. Ten minutes was a lot easier tonight. I think I went over! Hehe. I know God was here. I felt less distraction. I heard less noise. I felt more at peace. I'm glad that God gave me another day.
I'm singing:
I WILL ENTER HIS GATES
I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my
Heart
I will enter His courts with praise
I will say this is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
Lord,
Thanks you for such an uplifting day. You have put a song in my heart, a smile on my face and peace in my heart. You're an awesome God! Thank you for giving such good people in my life and holding me tight as I learn to listen to you.
Brie!
My family has been pretty preoccupied with my Dad's hospital visit and of course the cancer treatment, etc. It was so nice to just have a dinner where we can just get together and talk about nothing. Our conversation ranged from cable tv to my nephews school to corvettes to football games. I really have not gotten to just be with my family for a good while. God, thank you so much for putting the idea in my head.
This is why God gives us families! People that we can just spend time with, that are supportive of us, that are there for us!
Leaving my Parents house tonight was a little bit of a downer. But on the way home I reconnected with a good friend of mine that now lives in Georgia. She and I had this fabulous weekend in Hilton Head over last MLK Birthday weekend. The weather was perfect, the beach was beautiful, and above all the price was right! We got reminiscing about that weekend and decided to make plans for the repeat! So MLK weekend once again we will be chilling out in Hilton Head!
After all of that I got to settle down a little and have my ten minutes of silence. Tonight, I lit some candles, turned on some music, took some long breaths and relaxed. Ten minutes was a lot easier tonight. I think I went over! Hehe. I know God was here. I felt less distraction. I heard less noise. I felt more at peace. I'm glad that God gave me another day.
I'm singing:
I WILL ENTER HIS GATES
I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my
Heart
I will enter His courts with praise
I will say this is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
He has made me glad
He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
He has made me glad
He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
Lord,
Thanks you for such an uplifting day. You have put a song in my heart, a smile on my face and peace in my heart. You're an awesome God! Thank you for giving such good people in my life and holding me tight as I learn to listen to you.
Brie!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Beating the block?
Just as I am . . .
Tonight, I went to God once again just as I am. Freely gave God 10 minutes . . . 10 HARD minutes of silence. But God did not come the way I expected. Tonight, I did not feel the presence of God.
Instantly my mind went to try to fix the situation. What am I doing wrong? It the low music to loud? Am I not giving my all? What can I change?
I realize that I can't fix the situation. I can't control it. I can't do anything.
Maybe God was not invited. Maybe I was trying so hard to give God time that I forgot to give him the invitation to come. I thought of a song by Larry Karpenko(My Cousin!):
http://cdbaby.com/mp3lofi/karpenko-06.m3u
"I regret to inform You.
I forgot to invite You.
I forgot to include You.
Then You came to save me."
It's important that we open our hearts and invite God in. Once we invite him in we have to give up control. He was already there. He already came to save us. He was there even though I did not feel him. He was there even though I did not invite him.
Matthew 28:20b
Lord,
Thank you for being with me tonight, even though I did not really invite you. I need you to be more present in my life. I need you to take over and help me to more clearly hear your voice.
Brie!
Tonight, I went to God once again just as I am. Freely gave God 10 minutes . . . 10 HARD minutes of silence. But God did not come the way I expected. Tonight, I did not feel the presence of God.
Instantly my mind went to try to fix the situation. What am I doing wrong? It the low music to loud? Am I not giving my all? What can I change?
I realize that I can't fix the situation. I can't control it. I can't do anything.
Maybe God was not invited. Maybe I was trying so hard to give God time that I forgot to give him the invitation to come. I thought of a song by Larry Karpenko(My Cousin!):
http://cdbaby.com/mp3lofi/karpenko-06.m3u
"I regret to inform You.
I forgot to invite You.
I forgot to include You.
Then You came to save me."
It's important that we open our hearts and invite God in. Once we invite him in we have to give up control. He was already there. He already came to save us. He was there even though I did not feel him. He was there even though I did not invite him.
Matthew 28:20b
Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
Those are the words of Jesus. He is always with us. He is always present. Even though He chose not to reveal His presence to me tonight, He was still there!
What an awesome God we serve.Lord,
Thank you for being with me tonight, even though I did not really invite you. I need you to be more present in my life. I need you to take over and help me to more clearly hear your voice.
Brie!
Trying hard to listen....
Tonight was a very interesting experience for me. I tried my second day of being quiet for 10 minutes and letting God speak. Once again, I started with joy. But tonight I really had a hard time staying focused.
My mind wandered innocently to nature and a park that I visited when I was a child. Then I started to plan going back to that park, which quickly turned into my going over my schedule for the week in my head.
It's interesting to me how quickly we can be distracted. I know I've blogged on distraction before, and yet I feel like I made a bit of a breakthrough tonight. It amazes me how much easier it is for me to listen to the distracting whispers in my ear, rather than the silent prayer I am suppose to be focusing on.
Is it easier for me to hear Satan's distractions over my own God's voice? Are God's whispers drowned out by the things around me? Am I able to hear them when I'm not silent?
When teaching about negative and positive words for the SAT, distraction comes up as a negative word. Can a distraction be positive? Can God use distraction with us?
I definitely felt the distraction from a negative standpoint tonight. I know I need to continue to focus because it is obvious to me that I can hear Satan's whispers and yet I have a hard time hearing God. Is it because of the noise around me? Or am I just not in tune with his voice?
I Kings 19:11-12
The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
LORD,
Help me not to be so distracted by the winds, earthquakes and fires of this world, that I miss your gentle whisper. Please be with me and help me to grow as I spend more time with you.
Brie!
My mind wandered innocently to nature and a park that I visited when I was a child. Then I started to plan going back to that park, which quickly turned into my going over my schedule for the week in my head.
It's interesting to me how quickly we can be distracted. I know I've blogged on distraction before, and yet I feel like I made a bit of a breakthrough tonight. It amazes me how much easier it is for me to listen to the distracting whispers in my ear, rather than the silent prayer I am suppose to be focusing on.
Is it easier for me to hear Satan's distractions over my own God's voice? Are God's whispers drowned out by the things around me? Am I able to hear them when I'm not silent?
When teaching about negative and positive words for the SAT, distraction comes up as a negative word. Can a distraction be positive? Can God use distraction with us?
I definitely felt the distraction from a negative standpoint tonight. I know I need to continue to focus because it is obvious to me that I can hear Satan's whispers and yet I have a hard time hearing God. Is it because of the noise around me? Or am I just not in tune with his voice?
I Kings 19:11-12
The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
LORD,
Help me not to be so distracted by the winds, earthquakes and fires of this world, that I miss your gentle whisper. Please be with me and help me to grow as I spend more time with you.
Brie!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Can I really be silent?
Tonight I went to the first class in a series offered at my church called "The Dicipline of Silence." I wanted o first take the class to strengthen my prayer life, and yet I still did not get around to registering. That all changed yesterday when as I referred the class to a friend, who has also having issues in his prayer life. We both were registered in a few minutes. I guess once again I'm being selfish by getting a friend to go so that I will attend.
The class was really a nice change from the norm. There were only 9 or so people, but the discussion and prayer time became very intense. It was obvious that God was working in the room.
Tonight we did what is called a Centering Prayer. Which was a very intense experience for me. I began thinking of a word to describe God. My word was Joy because of the positive things that I have seen God doing the last week in my life. i.e. My New Job!!!
From there after about two minutes of contemplation you basically go with your next feeling and change your word or phrase. I began to contemplate my parents and ended up with the phrase "Support Mom." After contemplating this for a few minutes I was asked to imagine a picture in my mind and I was brought back to family dinners when I was a kid. Which brought me back to Joy!
Now I have to say that emotions were rampant during this time. I felt very happy during the first part, then cried when I thought about supporting my Mom. Happiness returned in the end when thinking about my family.
In the end, I was amazed at a lot of the things that other people experienced as well. I have committed to ten minutes of silent prayer each day. It's going to be hard. I just completed my first ten and it seemed like an hour! I also know it will be worth it.
Psalms 40:1 NKJV
I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry.
Lord,
Thanks you for giving me the experience I had this evening. I know this is going to be a big change for me. Be with me and help me to grow in you. I will wait....
Brie!
The class was really a nice change from the norm. There were only 9 or so people, but the discussion and prayer time became very intense. It was obvious that God was working in the room.
Tonight we did what is called a Centering Prayer. Which was a very intense experience for me. I began thinking of a word to describe God. My word was Joy because of the positive things that I have seen God doing the last week in my life. i.e. My New Job!!!
From there after about two minutes of contemplation you basically go with your next feeling and change your word or phrase. I began to contemplate my parents and ended up with the phrase "Support Mom." After contemplating this for a few minutes I was asked to imagine a picture in my mind and I was brought back to family dinners when I was a kid. Which brought me back to Joy!
Now I have to say that emotions were rampant during this time. I felt very happy during the first part, then cried when I thought about supporting my Mom. Happiness returned in the end when thinking about my family.
In the end, I was amazed at a lot of the things that other people experienced as well. I have committed to ten minutes of silent prayer each day. It's going to be hard. I just completed my first ten and it seemed like an hour! I also know it will be worth it.
Psalms 40:1 NKJV
I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry.
Lord,
Thanks you for giving me the experience I had this evening. I know this is going to be a big change for me. Be with me and help me to grow in you. I will wait....
Brie!
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