I think I'm too exhausted to blog tonight. Of course, I need to take this time to clear my head and calm down from my day.
Today was very stressful because a good friend, part of my "family" tried to end her life today. She wanted to escape from the noises in her head. She wanted to escape from life.
How many times have we all wanted to escape? I've looked so many times at trying to leave where I am and move away to escape. And yet no matter where I escape to I'm still there!
There is no escape from life except to give it up! Now, I'm not talking about ending your life, but giving it up to God. God is the only one that can bring peace to make you feel as if you'd escaped.
I pray that God brings me that peace to sleep tonight because I have to work early in the morning.
Pray for my Friend!
Lord,
Be with my friend tonight, let he know that you love her so very much. Give her the escape from her termoil that only you can give. Give all of us a restful night. I praise you for bringing her through and being there for all of us. I love you!
Brie
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Locks and Keys!
Today I did something I never do...
I was so happy about being home. I pulled into my parking spot. Finished off my phone conversation with one of my friends. Gathered my stuff. Walked to my condo, just to realize I had no keys!!!! I was not only locked out of my car but my apartment as well.
I had moved my keys just far enough out of the ignition that the dinging would stop so that I could finish my conversation. Now my car has automatic locks that will not lock if the key is in the ignition, awesome feature, except when you had pulled the key out just enough to make the feature inactive. I'm sure there is an entire blog entry just wrapped up in that!!!
Today I'm focusing on the next part. I have a friend that has extra keys to my car, but I know he has plans tonight that will keep him from being in my general area until late tonight. My roommate, who would have keys to the apartment, said she will not be home until late as well. So there is really no way either option would have worked.
So I'm left with calling 411 and getting patched through to Pop-a-lock that says it's 45 minutes and $69. Imagine I did not even think about the money and just went with it. Of course an hour and 15 minutes later they were actually at my place and in about two seconds into my car.
I did not even blink when I signed the credit card slip, once I had my keys in hand. How much would have been too much at that point? I'm not sure.
With the keys to my life safely in my hand, my thoughts traveled to the keys to my heart. How much did Jesus pay for them? Was the price too high? I know that it wasn't! Did he blink an eye when they crucified him? Was his determination so strong that the tears that fell where from his happiness knowing what he had done for me?
The good thing is that Jesus has already done it. Unlike Pop-a-lock I'm not having to wait around for Jesus. He's already there. He's there when we lock the door ready for us to ask him to open it again. He waits for us.
John 3:16 KJV
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Lord,
I give you the keys to my heart. I praise you for always being right there ready to give yourself for me. Thank you for already forgiving me before I even sin. Thank you for paying the price for me so long ago.
Brie!
I was so happy about being home. I pulled into my parking spot. Finished off my phone conversation with one of my friends. Gathered my stuff. Walked to my condo, just to realize I had no keys!!!! I was not only locked out of my car but my apartment as well.
I had moved my keys just far enough out of the ignition that the dinging would stop so that I could finish my conversation. Now my car has automatic locks that will not lock if the key is in the ignition, awesome feature, except when you had pulled the key out just enough to make the feature inactive. I'm sure there is an entire blog entry just wrapped up in that!!!
Today I'm focusing on the next part. I have a friend that has extra keys to my car, but I know he has plans tonight that will keep him from being in my general area until late tonight. My roommate, who would have keys to the apartment, said she will not be home until late as well. So there is really no way either option would have worked.
So I'm left with calling 411 and getting patched through to Pop-a-lock that says it's 45 minutes and $69. Imagine I did not even think about the money and just went with it. Of course an hour and 15 minutes later they were actually at my place and in about two seconds into my car.
I did not even blink when I signed the credit card slip, once I had my keys in hand. How much would have been too much at that point? I'm not sure.
With the keys to my life safely in my hand, my thoughts traveled to the keys to my heart. How much did Jesus pay for them? Was the price too high? I know that it wasn't! Did he blink an eye when they crucified him? Was his determination so strong that the tears that fell where from his happiness knowing what he had done for me?
The good thing is that Jesus has already done it. Unlike Pop-a-lock I'm not having to wait around for Jesus. He's already there. He's there when we lock the door ready for us to ask him to open it again. He waits for us.
John 3:16 KJV
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Lord,
I give you the keys to my heart. I praise you for always being right there ready to give yourself for me. Thank you for already forgiving me before I even sin. Thank you for paying the price for me so long ago.
Brie!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
When are they right?
It snowed once again. Even though the Weather Channel said a "wintery mix". I'm guessing 4-5 inches of snow. Do they ever get it right? Imagine what a thankless job, because people are always complaining that the weather was incorrect. Talk about a guessing game. I wonder how often they are just wrong???
Have you ever known someone who just always seems to be wrong? Maybe they always make the wrong choices or are the one that always is unemployed. They are the people that you think of when you hear the phrase, "If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all!"
I often wonder how these people live. I have one of them in my "family" and no matter what happens he always seems to lose his job, say the wrong things, and tick people off. I can only take him in small doses. I've never met someone that is as extreme as him. We can as a group be having a conversation about a topic and he'll jump in with a comment that does not fit in the conversation. It really annoys me. Guess I have some more work to do to be Christ-like.
He reminds me of the story of Joseph and his brothers. They way that the Bible portrays Joseph he was liked by his father, but seems to me as one of those people who are like my friend.
I can imagine the conversation. His older brothers are talking, maybe about some girls or something and snap Joseph pipes in with "Speaking of that, I had this dream where...."
Genesis 37:5 The Message
Joseph had a dream. When he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. He said, "Listen to this dream I had. We were all out in the field gathering bundles of wheat. All of a sudden my bundle stood straight up and your bundles circled around it and bowed down to mine."
I would have been annoyed as well. Now I can't say I hate my friend like Joseph's brothers did. But he was not one who thought out what he was about to say. I mean not only did he cut off our good conversation, but he told then about some strange dream where their bundles bowed to his. I can see why he was doomed!
Now I'm not saying I'd sell my friend or get rid of him, though the thought has crossed my mind. :-P That's not where this one is going.
I was thinking about how God used Joseph to save his family. Imagine being saved by that very person who gets on your very last nerve. I guess God can use anyone. So I need to work on being more Christ-like and letting God help me to be more accepting.
Lord,
Help me to be a mirror to reflect your love. I can't do it on my own, I need you to work through me and continue to make me more like you each day. Thank you for keeping my family safe in the storm. I praise you for your goodness to me!
Brie!
Have you ever known someone who just always seems to be wrong? Maybe they always make the wrong choices or are the one that always is unemployed. They are the people that you think of when you hear the phrase, "If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all!"
I often wonder how these people live. I have one of them in my "family" and no matter what happens he always seems to lose his job, say the wrong things, and tick people off. I can only take him in small doses. I've never met someone that is as extreme as him. We can as a group be having a conversation about a topic and he'll jump in with a comment that does not fit in the conversation. It really annoys me. Guess I have some more work to do to be Christ-like.
He reminds me of the story of Joseph and his brothers. They way that the Bible portrays Joseph he was liked by his father, but seems to me as one of those people who are like my friend.
I can imagine the conversation. His older brothers are talking, maybe about some girls or something and snap Joseph pipes in with "Speaking of that, I had this dream where...."
Genesis 37:5 The Message
Joseph had a dream. When he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. He said, "Listen to this dream I had. We were all out in the field gathering bundles of wheat. All of a sudden my bundle stood straight up and your bundles circled around it and bowed down to mine."
I would have been annoyed as well. Now I can't say I hate my friend like Joseph's brothers did. But he was not one who thought out what he was about to say. I mean not only did he cut off our good conversation, but he told then about some strange dream where their bundles bowed to his. I can see why he was doomed!
Now I'm not saying I'd sell my friend or get rid of him, though the thought has crossed my mind. :-P That's not where this one is going.
I was thinking about how God used Joseph to save his family. Imagine being saved by that very person who gets on your very last nerve. I guess God can use anyone. So I need to work on being more Christ-like and letting God help me to be more accepting.
Lord,
Help me to be a mirror to reflect your love. I can't do it on my own, I need you to work through me and continue to make me more like you each day. Thank you for keeping my family safe in the storm. I praise you for your goodness to me!
Brie!
Friday, February 23, 2007
When do we give up?
This week has been extremely hard at work. It's never surprising that corporate structures always have a way of working as inefficiently as possible. I've really never liked working for big companies because they seem so cold and heartless toward many people.
There comes a time where you always have decisions to make. It seems like work is heading for explosion. The right hand is definitely unsure what the left hand is doing, the real problem is that it feels like the hands are heading in different directions and my coworkers are the body in the middle getting pulled so hard that we are about to break.
One of the key figures in my staying at this job is currently looking at other options within the company. What do I do? Do I stay and just ride out the storm? When do you decide to vacate a sinking ship?
It reminds me of the story of Jonah. Where the ship is in turmoil on the sea with a storm that just seems to be following them. Could it be that I'm missing God's calling to be "thrown" overboard?
I've been doing an awesome job at work. I've always felt good about the quality of job that I am doing and yet lately I feel scrutiny from my bosses leading me to decide to document what I am doing to sort of save my own butt. I don't like being in situations where I do not feel secure, but maybe I'm just suppose to grow from this.
I know that I need to at least temporarily look this one in the face and just do my best. The hard part is to not complain when things seem to be going so wrong. Imagine, being Christ-like tells us not to complain or argue. How hard is that when things seem to be down. When bosses are only looking out for themselves? Do I argue when I'm given incorrect statistical information on my performance? How would Jesus handle a situation like that?
An example of what is expected of us is found in Philippians:
Philippians 2:14-15 (New International Version)
Through my walk down this hard gully that I've been going through lately, I've found the more I give up and just do my part the less scratches I get along the way. Giving up conplaining is going to be really hard, especially with my coworkers. I realize that my being negative is not helping the situation. So I'm going to give it up. I'm going to focus on not complaining next week. I'm going to work my hardest to shine like a star. I'm going to let God worry about my job. He's got the plan!
Lord,
Take my work situation, it has really been bogging me down lately. Help me to complain less and work harder to do my very best. Help for the stress at the office to become less so that my coworkers can deal as well.
Thank you,
Brie!
There comes a time where you always have decisions to make. It seems like work is heading for explosion. The right hand is definitely unsure what the left hand is doing, the real problem is that it feels like the hands are heading in different directions and my coworkers are the body in the middle getting pulled so hard that we are about to break.
One of the key figures in my staying at this job is currently looking at other options within the company. What do I do? Do I stay and just ride out the storm? When do you decide to vacate a sinking ship?
It reminds me of the story of Jonah. Where the ship is in turmoil on the sea with a storm that just seems to be following them. Could it be that I'm missing God's calling to be "thrown" overboard?
I've been doing an awesome job at work. I've always felt good about the quality of job that I am doing and yet lately I feel scrutiny from my bosses leading me to decide to document what I am doing to sort of save my own butt. I don't like being in situations where I do not feel secure, but maybe I'm just suppose to grow from this.
I know that I need to at least temporarily look this one in the face and just do my best. The hard part is to not complain when things seem to be going so wrong. Imagine, being Christ-like tells us not to complain or argue. How hard is that when things seem to be down. When bosses are only looking out for themselves? Do I argue when I'm given incorrect statistical information on my performance? How would Jesus handle a situation like that?
An example of what is expected of us is found in Philippians:
Philippians 2:14-15 (New International Version)
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.
Through my walk down this hard gully that I've been going through lately, I've found the more I give up and just do my part the less scratches I get along the way. Giving up conplaining is going to be really hard, especially with my coworkers. I realize that my being negative is not helping the situation. So I'm going to give it up. I'm going to focus on not complaining next week. I'm going to work my hardest to shine like a star. I'm going to let God worry about my job. He's got the plan!
Lord,
Take my work situation, it has really been bogging me down lately. Help me to complain less and work harder to do my very best. Help for the stress at the office to become less so that my coworkers can deal as well.
Thank you,
Brie!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Searching...
This adventure that I have started down since beginning my prayer blog has been very interesting. I can say that I am at the beginning spot of really communicating more with the Lord. I feel like I'm at the beginning because I feel that I have so far to go.
It's hard to put into words the feeling I get now that I am seeking the Lord and his will for my life. Of course i have my down times where things just don't seem to be going anywhere, but other times I just sit back in awe as God works in my life. I've been surprised how much God has put a desire in my heart to learn more about Him!
I feel myself drawn to blogging and letting my mind go and think about what God has done for me. This is a new revelation to me because in the past I've felt myself trying to seek and yet now I almost feel like God is doing the seeking for me.
I'm here presenting my whole heart and self to Him and he is igniting the fire within me to learn more about Him. That fire is burning so much that I can not seem to concentrate on other things in my life. So time will tell.
I read the following tonight:
Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Amazing how it states you WILL find him! Not may, not might, not sometime. But I WILL FIND HIM. I'm so happy to have an awesome God!
Lord,
Thank you for making yourself real in my life and igniting that fire to learn more about you deep in my soul. Please keep me seeking with all of my heart and soul. Thank you
It's hard to put into words the feeling I get now that I am seeking the Lord and his will for my life. Of course i have my down times where things just don't seem to be going anywhere, but other times I just sit back in awe as God works in my life. I've been surprised how much God has put a desire in my heart to learn more about Him!
I feel myself drawn to blogging and letting my mind go and think about what God has done for me. This is a new revelation to me because in the past I've felt myself trying to seek and yet now I almost feel like God is doing the seeking for me.
I'm here presenting my whole heart and self to Him and he is igniting the fire within me to learn more about Him. That fire is burning so much that I can not seem to concentrate on other things in my life. So time will tell.
I read the following tonight:
Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Amazing how it states you WILL find him! Not may, not might, not sometime. But I WILL FIND HIM. I'm so happy to have an awesome God!
Lord,
Thank you for making yourself real in my life and igniting that fire to learn more about you deep in my soul. Please keep me seeking with all of my heart and soul. Thank you
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
What is Family?
I'm reading a book that got me thinking about family. There was a discussion in the book about Celebrating Family, but what is family?
I started by taking the advice of a friend and googling the biblical definition family and after wading through the junk I found a page that really got me thinging even more. It brought out the fact that in the Bible, family changed many time from old to new testament.
Family has been a concept that has changed in my mind through the years as well. When I was younger I was always around my family. I was lucky to have a very close knit family that spent a lot of time together. Grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings.
As I've grown I remain lucky to still be in touch with my family, but I've also formed another type of family in the very close friendships that I have built. This has become another type of family to me as well. They are my everyday family that I rely on when times get rough, and rejoice with when times are good!
Who is the person or people who define family? Is the single father and his son? How about just the single person? Is the lesbian couple and children considered a family? How about a group of people not related by blood? What makes a family?
The Bible goes on the describe the church as a family. I remember in my parents church the adults used to call everyone brother or sister. We talk about God as the Father. Who is our mother? Is God a single Father as well?
Family seems to me to be an ever changing definition. One that has changed many times since the Garden of Eden. One that will continue to change, or should I say evolve through time.
Ruth 1:15-17 The Message
15 Naomi said, "Look, your sister-in-law is going back home to live with her own people and gods; go with her."
16-17 But Ruth said, "Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I'll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me God—not even death itself is going to come between us!"
Imagine Ruth sticking with her mother-in-law even after her husband dies. God gave Naomi the family that she needed to continue to survive. Would God do any less for us?
I praise God for my Family and my "Family".
Lord,
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You know my needs way before I've even begun to think about them. You support me in ways I can not even imagine. I praise you for your constant love!
I started by taking the advice of a friend and googling the biblical definition family and after wading through the junk I found a page that really got me thinging even more. It brought out the fact that in the Bible, family changed many time from old to new testament.
Family has been a concept that has changed in my mind through the years as well. When I was younger I was always around my family. I was lucky to have a very close knit family that spent a lot of time together. Grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings.
As I've grown I remain lucky to still be in touch with my family, but I've also formed another type of family in the very close friendships that I have built. This has become another type of family to me as well. They are my everyday family that I rely on when times get rough, and rejoice with when times are good!
Who is the person or people who define family? Is the single father and his son? How about just the single person? Is the lesbian couple and children considered a family? How about a group of people not related by blood? What makes a family?
The Bible goes on the describe the church as a family. I remember in my parents church the adults used to call everyone brother or sister. We talk about God as the Father. Who is our mother? Is God a single Father as well?
Family seems to me to be an ever changing definition. One that has changed many times since the Garden of Eden. One that will continue to change, or should I say evolve through time.
Ruth 1:15-17 The Message
15 Naomi said, "Look, your sister-in-law is going back home to live with her own people and gods; go with her."
16-17 But Ruth said, "Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I'll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me God—not even death itself is going to come between us!"
Imagine Ruth sticking with her mother-in-law even after her husband dies. God gave Naomi the family that she needed to continue to survive. Would God do any less for us?
I praise God for my Family and my "Family".
Lord,
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You know my needs way before I've even begun to think about them. You support me in ways I can not even imagine. I praise you for your constant love!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Birthdays and Loneliness
Ah.. once again another year older. I've never been one that fears or gets upset over birthdays. I guess that is just part of my nature. So on with the rest of my babbling!
What is the difference between being lonely and being alone? Tonight, driving along down the interstate the thought occurred to me that I was lonely. I've been surrounded by my family and friends for the entire weekend and yet I'm lonely. How is it possible for one to be around people, though not just people around people that they truly care about and still be lonely. Is there no real correlation between alone and lonely.
Where does this feeling on loneliness stem from? Is it caused by uneasiness in my heart? Is it caused by my not feeling secure? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing?
I can't say that I've felt lonely lately before the last week. But in this time period I've come to a point where I see in myself the loneliness creeping in. What can I do? Where can I turn?
I know that God uses these negative feelings to help us become stronger, and yet I know I can;t see where this one is going. I need advice. I need guidance. I need a clearer picture.
I'm walking once again by my creek, I'm feeling lonely taking each step. I'm not understanding my inner turmoil, and I can't expect others to understand it either.
I'm going around a curve and it's so dark I can't see anything ahead. I can feel the mist of the water near my feet. The current of the creek is swift, rushing, not babbling like it usually does.
I take a few more steps on the slick rocks. Stepping, lonely, but not alone.
Lord,
Please take this feeling of loneliness and do with it what you desire. Use it to make me stronger in you. Help me to see where it is going or give me the faith I need to trust through my blind stumbles.
What is the difference between being lonely and being alone? Tonight, driving along down the interstate the thought occurred to me that I was lonely. I've been surrounded by my family and friends for the entire weekend and yet I'm lonely. How is it possible for one to be around people, though not just people around people that they truly care about and still be lonely. Is there no real correlation between alone and lonely.
Where does this feeling on loneliness stem from? Is it caused by uneasiness in my heart? Is it caused by my not feeling secure? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing?
I can't say that I've felt lonely lately before the last week. But in this time period I've come to a point where I see in myself the loneliness creeping in. What can I do? Where can I turn?
I know that God uses these negative feelings to help us become stronger, and yet I know I can;t see where this one is going. I need advice. I need guidance. I need a clearer picture.
I'm walking once again by my creek, I'm feeling lonely taking each step. I'm not understanding my inner turmoil, and I can't expect others to understand it either.
I'm going around a curve and it's so dark I can't see anything ahead. I can feel the mist of the water near my feet. The current of the creek is swift, rushing, not babbling like it usually does.
I take a few more steps on the slick rocks. Stepping, lonely, but not alone.
Lord,
Please take this feeling of loneliness and do with it what you desire. Use it to make me stronger in you. Help me to see where it is going or give me the faith I need to trust through my blind stumbles.
Friday, February 16, 2007
When do we stop?
This week was really hard. It seemed like every time things were beginning to settle down, the just keep getting worse.
Have you ever felt like you are trapped in traffic in the fast lane and have no choice but to drive at speeds outside of your comfort zone.
Well maybe not the best example. I guess I really don't have to give a real example for this because it is part of all of our lives. All this running and crazyness(literal) seems to make us more and more anxious and unable to settle down.
The snow storm did not help the week. It actually caused some more headaches.
1. I'm essential personnel. Therefore no matter what happens(Snow) I have to get to work. It took and hour and 15 minutes to go the less than 20 miles to work.
2. Our house was inhabited by and unexpected guest all week. It is essentially my fault, becuase I invited the guest to stay Monday and Tuesday, but not through friday.
Last night I just got to the point of no return. I really needed out of the situation. I needed time to myself. I needed to relax.
Thanks to my friends the guest has vacated as of this morning. I was able to take the day off and chill. I did NOTHING today. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
I'm really happy because the day off today will make it so I can enjoy the Sabbath tomorrow. I don't think I could have been myself at church tomorrow without the day to unwind today.
I actually had some plans today but everything fell through. It's funny that usually I would have been upset that my plans were cancelled, but I'm not. I guess once again God planned out today so that I could relax and become less stressed. What can I say, God is good!
It makes me thing about the following text taking from the first part of:
Psalm 46:10
One of the pastors at our church used this text last week in her sermon. She also used the same text from The Message:
Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
loving look at me, your High God
Wow, did I need that this week. Stepping out of the traffic of my week was not on my mind as I began the week, but God know what I needed. God placed the actions in place so that I would be able to step out.
It's amazing that when I allowed God to begin to open your eyes, there became no question how much He loves me!
I need to step out and be still more often.
Lord,
Thank you so much for giving me this time with you, I have already come to enjoy and look forward to it. Renew my life and bring me that deeper understanding of you that I desire.
Have you ever felt like you are trapped in traffic in the fast lane and have no choice but to drive at speeds outside of your comfort zone.
Well maybe not the best example. I guess I really don't have to give a real example for this because it is part of all of our lives. All this running and crazyness(literal) seems to make us more and more anxious and unable to settle down.
The snow storm did not help the week. It actually caused some more headaches.
1. I'm essential personnel. Therefore no matter what happens(Snow) I have to get to work. It took and hour and 15 minutes to go the less than 20 miles to work.
2. Our house was inhabited by and unexpected guest all week. It is essentially my fault, becuase I invited the guest to stay Monday and Tuesday, but not through friday.
Last night I just got to the point of no return. I really needed out of the situation. I needed time to myself. I needed to relax.
Thanks to my friends the guest has vacated as of this morning. I was able to take the day off and chill. I did NOTHING today. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
I'm really happy because the day off today will make it so I can enjoy the Sabbath tomorrow. I don't think I could have been myself at church tomorrow without the day to unwind today.
I actually had some plans today but everything fell through. It's funny that usually I would have been upset that my plans were cancelled, but I'm not. I guess once again God planned out today so that I could relax and become less stressed. What can I say, God is good!
It makes me thing about the following text taking from the first part of:
Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God
One of the pastors at our church used this text last week in her sermon. She also used the same text from The Message:
Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
loving look at me, your High God
Wow, did I need that this week. Stepping out of the traffic of my week was not on my mind as I began the week, but God know what I needed. God placed the actions in place so that I would be able to step out.
It's amazing that when I allowed God to begin to open your eyes, there became no question how much He loves me!
I need to step out and be still more often.
Lord,
Thank you so much for giving me this time with you, I have already come to enjoy and look forward to it. Renew my life and bring me that deeper understanding of you that I desire.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Love and Life
Love is such an easy subject to talk about. When you turn on the radio, how many songs are about love? Movies? Television? We are surrounded by it.
Especially around Valentines Day. Red hearts, Roses, Chocolate.
Yet that same love can bring a lot of hurt. Why are we so obsessed with love?
Driving back from a Valentines day dinner with a couple of my best friends, I was listening to the radio. They were talking about Love, AGAIN! Even on the Christian station! I really wanted to turn the station, but the caller had an interesting perspective.
She had been hurt so many times, searching and searching for love. God gave her an answer, but not in the form she thought. She and a group of 8 women had turned themselves into a support for each other. They were holding each other up though the hard times. She stated that through the support of this group she's given her persuit of "love" over to God. She now stated that she was genuinely happy single. WOW!
I've heard over and over that we don't know the reasons behind God's plan. Does he want me to be single? Is God going to give me that love?
As I though more about what the woman had said on the radio, I was brought to the spot where I realized that I'm not alone. I had three awesome, single friends that went out together and supported each other on one of the hardest nights of the year for single people. Isn't that great!
So I'm not sure why at this point I am single. I'm not sure of God's plan. I just know that God has given me the support system to survive. How often are we blind to such things? Do we not see them because our focus is elsewhere?
My Pastor said in a sermon one week that as humans we are made to be in relationships. Most people shut down their thinking there, focusing solely on a committed love realtionship. But here is where my Pastor steps out from the ordinary and points out the many different types of relationships. His comment about types of relationships hit home, but not at that moment in church. His comments went right into my head that day, but I was like those others that were focused on "love".
His comments hit home for me tonight. Maybe, just maybe, God wants something different for me. I've never thought of that before. Maybe my relationships are going to be different.
I'm still trudging down my non-path. The snow from yesterday has made the way rather slippery. I've fallen a couple times just today, my mind tells me to just sit and wait for the snow to melt, but God's hand has picked me up, dried my tears and brushed the snow off of me. He's taken a few steps for me to get me a little further through the hard parts before he sets me down again. I can feel him just behind me waiting to catch me if I fall again.
He's always been right there ready to help me. Even in ways I didn't even realize.
I just have to open my eyes and see!
Here is one of my favorite passages from Proverbs 3: 5-6
5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
I'm letting him direct this path.
Lord,
Tonight I want you to keep directing my path. The way is rough right now, but I know there is a clearing coming up soon. Help me to keep trusting!
Especially around Valentines Day. Red hearts, Roses, Chocolate.
Yet that same love can bring a lot of hurt. Why are we so obsessed with love?
Driving back from a Valentines day dinner with a couple of my best friends, I was listening to the radio. They were talking about Love, AGAIN! Even on the Christian station! I really wanted to turn the station, but the caller had an interesting perspective.
She had been hurt so many times, searching and searching for love. God gave her an answer, but not in the form she thought. She and a group of 8 women had turned themselves into a support for each other. They were holding each other up though the hard times. She stated that through the support of this group she's given her persuit of "love" over to God. She now stated that she was genuinely happy single. WOW!
I've heard over and over that we don't know the reasons behind God's plan. Does he want me to be single? Is God going to give me that love?
As I though more about what the woman had said on the radio, I was brought to the spot where I realized that I'm not alone. I had three awesome, single friends that went out together and supported each other on one of the hardest nights of the year for single people. Isn't that great!
So I'm not sure why at this point I am single. I'm not sure of God's plan. I just know that God has given me the support system to survive. How often are we blind to such things? Do we not see them because our focus is elsewhere?
My Pastor said in a sermon one week that as humans we are made to be in relationships. Most people shut down their thinking there, focusing solely on a committed love realtionship. But here is where my Pastor steps out from the ordinary and points out the many different types of relationships. His comment about types of relationships hit home, but not at that moment in church. His comments went right into my head that day, but I was like those others that were focused on "love".
His comments hit home for me tonight. Maybe, just maybe, God wants something different for me. I've never thought of that before. Maybe my relationships are going to be different.
I'm still trudging down my non-path. The snow from yesterday has made the way rather slippery. I've fallen a couple times just today, my mind tells me to just sit and wait for the snow to melt, but God's hand has picked me up, dried my tears and brushed the snow off of me. He's taken a few steps for me to get me a little further through the hard parts before he sets me down again. I can feel him just behind me waiting to catch me if I fall again.
He's always been right there ready to help me. Even in ways I didn't even realize.
I just have to open my eyes and see!
Here is one of my favorite passages from Proverbs 3: 5-6
5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
I'm letting him direct this path.
Lord,
Tonight I want you to keep directing my path. The way is rough right now, but I know there is a clearing coming up soon. Help me to keep trusting!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Pure as snow, or is it just a cover up?
Snow is such an interesting thing. It can cover all the uglyness of the world in just a few minutes and yet it is still there. Snow is actually one of the greatest deceivers.
When I was born I was pure, right? OR was I already flawed?
We are born into sin...born with these flaws. We can work so hard to overcome some "dirty" parts and yet we can never become pure.
I was talking to a friend once that said he had been snowed. I'd never heard the phrase before but I guess it was a phrase of his childhood because it rollled off his tongue so easily. He had been victum of a great deception by another person. My friend has trusted this person only to find out that this person had covered things up.
I contemplated the concept of being snowed. How much snow does it take to cover up a sin? Can all the snow in Buffalo really cover it up?
I see groups of christians shaking their heads agreeing with me and knowing exactly what I'm going to say next.
But since this is my wooded path I'm going to skip that "blood" line and move on.
We use the analogy of blood so much. Washed in the Blood. Cleansed by the Blood.
Jesus does cleanse us with his blood, but the key is afterward. Once we accept we are pure. No final judgement, Jesus already did that. No more scars, Jesus did that too! We know we will make it out alive. Now I'll still get these scrapes from the thorns along the way and I might stumble, break a leg (Pastor Newman) or worse. But in the end I'm still pure.
This is from one of my Mom's favorite Hymns from Psalms 51:7.
Whiter Than Snow
Lord Jesus, I long to be perfectly whole;
I want Thee forever to live in my soul.
Break down every idol, cast out every foe;
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Refrain
Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow.
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
I love that phrase. Whiter than snow!
God's plan is for us to be whiter. It's not just a cover up. It's more.
Lord,
Be with me tonight and tomorrow. As the storm rages outside bring peace to my heart.
Wash me and cleanse me. Make me whiter than snow!
When I was born I was pure, right? OR was I already flawed?
We are born into sin...born with these flaws. We can work so hard to overcome some "dirty" parts and yet we can never become pure.
I was talking to a friend once that said he had been snowed. I'd never heard the phrase before but I guess it was a phrase of his childhood because it rollled off his tongue so easily. He had been victum of a great deception by another person. My friend has trusted this person only to find out that this person had covered things up.
I contemplated the concept of being snowed. How much snow does it take to cover up a sin? Can all the snow in Buffalo really cover it up?
I see groups of christians shaking their heads agreeing with me and knowing exactly what I'm going to say next.
But since this is my wooded path I'm going to skip that "blood" line and move on.
We use the analogy of blood so much. Washed in the Blood. Cleansed by the Blood.
Jesus does cleanse us with his blood, but the key is afterward. Once we accept we are pure. No final judgement, Jesus already did that. No more scars, Jesus did that too! We know we will make it out alive. Now I'll still get these scrapes from the thorns along the way and I might stumble, break a leg (Pastor Newman) or worse. But in the end I'm still pure.
This is from one of my Mom's favorite Hymns from Psalms 51:7.
Whiter Than Snow
Lord Jesus, I long to be perfectly whole;
I want Thee forever to live in my soul.
Break down every idol, cast out every foe;
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Refrain
Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow.
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
I love that phrase. Whiter than snow!
God's plan is for us to be whiter. It's not just a cover up. It's more.
Lord,
Be with me tonight and tomorrow. As the storm rages outside bring peace to my heart.
Wash me and cleanse me. Make me whiter than snow!
Monday, February 12, 2007
In The Beginning... was Faith
I'm not sure where it went... is what I've caught myself thinking, over an over again. I know this describes so many different things in life.
I'm not sure where time went! I'm once again turning another year older this next weekend and I think where did the time go?
I'm not sure where my innocence went! I look at things in my life and I think how did I get so far into this!
I'm not sure where my day went! Running from place to place and yet I'm back in bed preparing for tomorrow.
I'm not sure where the pizza went! Well that I can tell you!
I'm not sure where my faith went! Good question.
Matthew 18:3-4
Verse 3 And He said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Verse 4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Imagine having that child-like faith again. I never doubted that I was good enough to go to heaven because I knew I was going. Where does that doubt come from? That doubt that seems to so easily keep our faith down. That doubt that keeps us questioning am I good enough? That doubt that keeps us trying to do it all on our own! I can't do it!
Here I am stumbling through my non-path. Even though it is along the brook it still is not a clear path. I keep looking ahead to try and see if it gets any easier, but can't see around the bend. So I keep climbing along through the branches and thorns. I'm giving to you, Lord. I'm giving over to the kid in me, and beginning to look forward to the next adventure.
Lord,
Take my pride, my doubt, my stubbornness and my need for control!
Replace them with your faith, because I can't do it anymore.
I'm not sure where time went! I'm once again turning another year older this next weekend and I think where did the time go?
I'm not sure where my innocence went! I look at things in my life and I think how did I get so far into this!
I'm not sure where my day went! Running from place to place and yet I'm back in bed preparing for tomorrow.
I'm not sure where the pizza went! Well that I can tell you!
I'm not sure where my faith went! Good question.
Matthew 18:3-4
Verse 3 And He said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Verse 4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Imagine having that child-like faith again. I never doubted that I was good enough to go to heaven because I knew I was going. Where does that doubt come from? That doubt that seems to so easily keep our faith down. That doubt that keeps us questioning am I good enough? That doubt that keeps us trying to do it all on our own! I can't do it!
Here I am stumbling through my non-path. Even though it is along the brook it still is not a clear path. I keep looking ahead to try and see if it gets any easier, but can't see around the bend. So I keep climbing along through the branches and thorns. I'm giving to you, Lord. I'm giving over to the kid in me, and beginning to look forward to the next adventure.
Lord,
Take my pride, my doubt, my stubbornness and my need for control!
Replace them with your faith, because I can't do it anymore.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Starting Again
Blogs come and blogs go...
I read once in a blog that blogging just to blog is not what blogging is about. So instead I'm going to start a new blog to get deeper into me. I'm making God in charge of this blog and the time I spend here will be my time with Him. If you don't like that click on that next blog arrow in the top right hand corner and go somewhere!
Tonight as I sit here contemplating life I feel apprehensive about the next turn my life will take. I'm finding it very hard to communicate with God because I feel I have shut Him out so much. I want God to be closer and yet I feel the urge to want to stay in control. I know I can't have it both ways and yet I tend to let God go instead of letting go.
Do I subconsiously want God to change for me? I mean I always have to be in control of things, make sure things go off without a hitch. Controling life, school work. EVERYTHING! What do I want? Am I really wanting God to take my everything? Am I that trusting today?
I'm walking down my non-path right now. I feel the scrapes of the thorn bushes on my side, stumbling over the rocks in the creekbed. So many things are in my way, and yet a trudge forward. Not really sure where I am going right now. I'm still not trusting because I can still see I'm walking along that babbling stream. So there are no steps of faith, no give up of control, no letting go.
Where am I going?
I read once in a blog that blogging just to blog is not what blogging is about. So instead I'm going to start a new blog to get deeper into me. I'm making God in charge of this blog and the time I spend here will be my time with Him. If you don't like that click on that next blog arrow in the top right hand corner and go somewhere!
Tonight as I sit here contemplating life I feel apprehensive about the next turn my life will take. I'm finding it very hard to communicate with God because I feel I have shut Him out so much. I want God to be closer and yet I feel the urge to want to stay in control. I know I can't have it both ways and yet I tend to let God go instead of letting go.
Do I subconsiously want God to change for me? I mean I always have to be in control of things, make sure things go off without a hitch. Controling life, school work. EVERYTHING! What do I want? Am I really wanting God to take my everything? Am I that trusting today?
I'm walking down my non-path right now. I feel the scrapes of the thorn bushes on my side, stumbling over the rocks in the creekbed. So many things are in my way, and yet a trudge forward. Not really sure where I am going right now. I'm still not trusting because I can still see I'm walking along that babbling stream. So there are no steps of faith, no give up of control, no letting go.
Where am I going?
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